Peer response Essay 1

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PEER RESPONSE

Peerresponse

Essay1

Inmy own opinion, the title of the paper is not good. This is becausethe title does not give the audience an idea of what the paper is allabout. The title does not address the central argument of the essay.A direct title that gives an idea of the contents could have beenmore appropriate.

Theauthor make a fairly good introduction to the issues to be discussesin the paper. The paper makes a correct argument that the militaryperformance at the Forth of July national celebrations is a displayof the United States power, freedom and ingenuity. It is anindication that the dreams of the founding fathers of the UnitedStates have been achieved, despite the numerous challenges that facesthe nation over the years. The author recognizes the importance ofthe United States being involved in world affairs and its impacts nthe United States. There are many factors that motivated America toincrease its presence in global affairs, which includes growth, powerand pursuit for liberty for all.

Thesisstatement

Althoughthe paper has an informative introduction, the thesis statement ofthe paper is not well stated. It does not clearly state the subjectmatter the paper is going to address.

Topicsentences

Thethesis of the paper is not clear. However, the author makes validarguments that are based on research. However, all the paragraphs arefocused on the main argument in the paper.

Bodyparagraphs and evidence

Althoughit is correct to argue that the United States involvement in globalaffairs in the 19thcentury was limited compared to the 20thcentury, it is wrong to argue that there was no motivations forexpansions. This is because there is evidence of interests in foreignactivities in the first half of the 19thcentury. Although the American government adopted an isolationpolicy, there were some elements of foreign relations. However, Iagree with the author that the events of the 19thcentury increased he need for the United States to reconsider itsisolation policy and increase its activities outside its borders. Forexample, the rapid industrial development and population growth inthe United States made isolationism policy untenable. The paper makesa valid argument that the struggle for dominance and supremacy is themost important characteristic of foreign policy and an importantmotivation to international involvement. this motivated the unitedstates activities in the first and second world war, the Cubancrisis, cold war and the Vietnam war among others internationalcrisis. Through social, economic, political and military dominanceand supremacy, the United States is able to promote the Americanvalues of democracy, liberty and the rule of law.

Quoteintegration

Thedirect quotes in the paper are well integrated into the essay.

Citation

Anyquotes used in the paper should acknowledge the source ofinformation. There are some quotes in the paper that do notacknowledge the source of the information. For example, in the thirdparagraph, the “hold these truths to be self evident” does notacknowledge the source of the information. An academic paper shouldacknowledge all the sources of information. Referencing in the paperis not done not done correctly. The paper does not have a referencepage and a list of references used.

Rating

Iwould rate the paper 3 out of 5. Although the content of the paper isokay, an indication of good research, the does not have referencesand it is not well structured. In my own assessment, the paper is notwell structured. Structuring the paper correctly using sub headingand subtitle makes it easy for the reader to go through the paper. Itcould have been better if the writer separated the different sectionsof the paper using subheading, for example, introduction, body,conclusion and references. It is also important to have a title pageand page numbers to improve the aesthetic value of the paper.

Essay2

Althoughthe title is fair, it does not address the central argument. Forexample, the author could have given an indication on who uscontrolling the world in the title.

Thepaper does not have an introduction. Even when the first paragraph isconsidered to be the introduction, it does not give a good roadmap ofthe paper.

Thesisstatement

Thepaper does not have a thesis statement which introduces the mainarguments of the paper. The author does not specify the mainarguments in the paper.

Topicsentences

Thetopic sentences are not clear. There is no argument the reader canfollow in every paragraph.

Bodyparagraphs and evidence

Althoughthe author does not substantiate his claims or support them withevidence, he makes some valid arguments. For example, it may be trueto argue that since the beginning of the 19thcentury, the United States has been an imperial force and has spreadits influence in different parts of the world. However, the authordoes not substantiate the claim that the government has always toldthe United States citizens that its involvement in the world affairsis aimed at promoting freedom, liberty and government. For example,to validate these claims, the author can refer to presidentialspeeches or other government communication in the 19thor 20thcentury. Facts have it that in the 19thcentury, the United States invested largely in building a strong navydue to the increased importance of protecting trade routes. Gainingstrategic territories and operational bases to aid trade and accessto raw materials was also a motivation of expansion interest in theUnited States. However, giving examples such as annexation of Hawaiiand control over Philippines would increase the validity of theargument. Another argument which would have required furtherexplanation using examples is the concern over United States militaryinvolvement in international conflicts and wars.

Quoteintegrity

Theauthor does not use direct quotes.

Citation

Thepaper does not have a reference list or in text citations. A goodacademic paper should have credible sources from which the factscontained in the paper are borrowed. This paper does lacks this basicconstitute of a paper. The author states facts without acknowledgingthe source of the information.

Rating

Iwould rate the paper 2 out of 5. This is not because the paper makeswrong or invalid arguments. The paper does not have a structure of awell researched paper. The paper arguments in the paper are notcoherent and would require further explanation. Additionally, thepaper lacks basic aspects of an academic paper such as references.

Essay3

Thepaper does not have a title.

Theintroduction of the paper is good. Although it is short, it clearlygives the reader an idea of what the paper will address in the bodypart.

Thesisstatement

Althoughthe author gives an idea of the subject matter in the introduction,the paper does not have a thesis statement.

Topicstatements

Thepaper is not complete.

Bodyparagraphs and evidence

Thetwo paragraphs in the paper have evidence of research and validarguments.Inthe late 18thcentury, the United States was a relatively new nation. It istherefore correct to argue that the nation was dealing the teethingproblems of a new nation. This argument can explain internationalabsence in the late 18thcentury and early 19thcentury. However, as the nation recovered from the transition fromcolonialism to independence, there was an increased internationalpresence. I would agree with the author that the evolution ofpolitics, society, industry and economy is the main factor thatresulted into increased presence of the United States in the globalaffairs. The rapid industrialization in the late 19thcentury and early 20thcentury, together with the social and economic recovery from theimpact of the civil war had a huge impact on the increased presenceof the United States in global affairs. I would also agree with theauthor that the emerging racial superiority concept, economic factorsand military factors were important motivation for increasedinternational presence.

Quoteintegration

Theauthor does not use direct quotes.

Citations

Thepaper does not have references. Although there are in text citationsin parenthesis, there is no reference list.

Rating

Iwould rate the paper 1.5 out of ten. In general, the paper is not agood academic paper. The paper contains the introduction only theother parts of the paper are only listed. This means that the paperis not complete. Additionally, the paper has numerous typos. Forexample, the introduction is abbreviated and almost every sentencehas a grammatical error.